They told us this in training, but I’m really starting to understand how important it is to relish in small victories. Though few and far between in the unrelenting deluge of losses, those small victories are the only things keeping me here. Yes, it’s been an incredible learning experience and I’ve met people I hope to know for the rest of my life, but I could leave now and still have those things. I could be on the next flight to the land of the free and I wouldn’t be giving up those memories or those relationships. But I won’t be on the next flight out. I’ll be here for another cycle of my nieces’ and nephews’ birthdays and spend another Thanksgiving away from my family. I’ll stay here for another nine months, hoping for just few more small victories like these:
I started this year’s English clubs earlier this month, and as I was going around to classrooms to make the announcement it was very clear that the students I taught last year understood and could respond to every word I said, whereas the students I didn’t teach got next to nothing out of the announcement. I’m sure there are numerous reasons for this, many of which have nothing to do with me. And of course I hope and will work for the best for all of the students at my school, but I have to admit it’s incredibly encouraging to be able to see and hear the tiny difference that I made for my students last year.
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Two weeks ago, as part of a new secondary project between volunteers and another organization, I taught an English class to a group of Rwandan judges and court staff. This program is brand new and, as with most pilot programs, it has kinks and will be developed through a lot of trial and error. Nonetheless, spending my Saturday morning with that group of people was a joy. Watching high-ranking, professional men and women struggle courageously through group presentations and exercises, making mistakes and welcoming both positive and negative feedback from their peers and from me, reminded me of the importance of my commitment to this country and to people like them in particular.
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Last week I wrapped up the first term of my new role at school: full time teacher-trainer and advisor to teachers. Since each term ends with exams, I decided to make the last session a methodology training about writing assessments. I was very impressed with all of the thoughtful questions teachers asked at the end of the session and felt like the term ended on a high note. While I was walking home, one teacher came and thanked me for all the sessions we’ve done. He told me that when he saw there would be some methodology training, he couldn’t imagine what there could possibly be to learn about teaching. “But now I am seeing there are many things to learn about being a good teacher,” he said, “and it is very interesting to me.”
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Maybe how ‘small’ these victories are is debatable, and maybe ten years from now I’ll realize I should be giving myself more credit. Or maybe I’ll realize I’m not really accomplishing anything and my time in Rwanda has little to do with development and is more about personal connections and experiencing another culture. Either way, these are the types of things that keep me going.
